Posted in Super Momma

Give some credit to your hubby

As much as I love my husband, majority of the time I feel like I’m the only adult in our household and I have two kids whom I have to supervise at all times. If you feel like I do, you are not alone! Nearly every mother I talk to, agrees with you and I.

As a new mom, I had and have to figure most things out on my own by experimenting, reading, listening to other mothers, researching and learning from my mistakes. I have to admit, I felt the pressure of making the right decisions as a parent and wanted my husband’s support and feedback. I was very quick with rolling my eyes and getting frustrated if my husband was clueless about or was not fast enough with dealing with a problem. For instance, if our little knocked a cup of soup and it’s all over the kitchen counter, by the time my hubby cleaned up, troublemaker would have moved to another room with his dirty hands touching the furniture so there would be a bigger mess.

Whenever I left the two at home, I would come back to a bigger mess. I would get upset and aggravated asking “why can’t you at least clean after yourself?” The toys would be everywhere, sink would be over flowing with dirty dishes, food would be left on the counter top, baby would be in an absurd outfit and diapers would be on the floor instead of the garbage.

After many arguments, rolled eyes, passive aggressive notations and slammed doors, I concluded that was not the way to win this one. Instead of criticizing and comparing my hubby to myself, I tried to see things from his perspective. I realized even though I was a new mom, my gut told me what to do majority of the time. My husband was clueless and he was trying to do one thing at a time. Instead of talking about the desired outcome, I started talking about how to get to the desired outcome by giving him examples. It worked. After couple more times, he was able to put toys back, diapers were in the garbage, dishes he told me to leave them for him. Even though things were not done in my time frame, he was getting them done in his.

Having a child totally changes your marriage both in a good and a bad ways. It’s such a blessing and an unconditional love that comes with a lot of work. As a working mother, I believe in sharing house work with my husband. It does not necessarily mean, “I ll do the dishes today and you will do them tomorrow.” It may be I will cook and you will do the clean up. I will do the laundry and you will fold. It is never totally 50/50 sometimes yes I do more work, sometimes he does more work. Communication is very very important since exhaustion, disturbed sleep and then pressure of multi tasking can easily blow up a simple issue into a disaster.

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think! I would also love to hear about your experiences/thoughts!

Posted in Super Momma, Sweet child o' mine

Shy about breast feeding in public?

You can read the whole article on huffingtonpost.com. It’s funny, ridiculous and annoying at the same time that even in 21st century some people and places shame Mother’s for breast feeding in public. Everyone got a say, so do you.

Breast-feeding in public for the first time, especially if you’re a first-time mom, can be nerve raking. As a new mom, I thought all eyes were on me, and I was not gonna be able to cover myself up properly and flash everyone. If you’re going out to a family or friends house, you can easily go to one of the rooms for privacy, however if it’s a public place then here a couple of tips for you.. and me!

It all starts with the right clothing. Make sure you can easily uncover and cover yourself so a button down shirt will be your go to dress code. If you have a cami underneath, you can quickly cover yourself before you button yourself up. Another nice accessory to have is a scarf. You can look stylish also if you need to you can use it to cover your breast and your baby. Get your sunglasses, a stylish scarf and no one will realize that you are without make up, got puke on your shirt and running on 3 hours of sleep.

If your baby has a nap schedule, try to leave home around his or her nap time. Most babies fall asleep in the car so when you make it to the store, he will stay sleeping. Also, before you leave home, make sure you feed and change your little one which decreases the likelihood that’s you’re gonna have to deal with a hungry baby with a full diaper who’s getting really fussy once in public.

Choose a store that your familiar with if you are leaving home first time with your new born. At least, you will know where the bathrooms are, where the entrance and the exit is so if your little one gets really fussy then you can pack up and leave quickly. Remember, you can always nurse in the car or drive him back home.

If you’re in a big store like Walmart or target and you need to nurse, look for the furniture section where you can sit down and are away from busier sections. If you are in a baby store such as buy buy baby or babies R us , they have nursing rooms. Not problem, you are covered! If you are in a shopping mall, try fitting rooms of big department stores like Macy’s or Kohl’s by the kids sections since those fitting rooms tend to be less crowded.

Hope this read helps with giving you ideas and making you less nervous! Let me know about your experience! Looking forward to hearing from all of you ❤️

Posted in Super Momma, Sweet child o' mine

14 months old and yes he is still sleeping with us!

Our little one is 14 months old and he is still sleeping with us. Hearing this certainly shocks some people and I’m told “it’s not good because the kid needs to be able to sleep by himself, not be too dependent on you, it’s necessary for his character to develop. Also, don’t you want to be able to go out sometime?”

I smile and say “there is the ideal and the reality. Would I want to go out at night? Maybe once in a blue moon but I am not into clubbing anyways.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not 100% content with the fact that my son is still sleeping with us at 14 months. Why? Because I need to go to sleep with him, a least I need to put him to sleep then try to pull some ninja moves and quickly sneak out of the room as I get ray he will not wake up to the sound of smallest creak. I can’t watch any thing then doze off lying in bed, I used to enjoy watching my shows in bed – that’s no longer happening. He does not go to sleep with anyone else including his dad, my mom or mother in law and he gives people the hardest time when they are trying to put him to sleep.

When it comes to his personality development, is he more attached to me? Am I making him “mommy’s boy”? I do not know for sure but I don’t think so. I can say that he is not clingy and he plays with all family members and even strangers. He does not act like mommy’s boy either, he follows anyone who has something interesting to offer to him.

Nowadays, big trend is going back to all natural and staying away from artificial or nonorganic. Then on that note, isn’t it more motherly and more natural to stay with your young ones instead of taking them to their rooms early on? Look at the animal kingdom, I believe besides some species (mostly the ones in the sea), most animals especially mammals, are always with their little ones. They cuddle and sleep together and when the babies are old enough, they leave the parents to draw their own fate.

One big advantage of co-sleeping is I miss him when I am away from him. Don’t get me wrong I think every mom needs to be away from the kids for some time In order to regain sanity. When I get home after a day at work, and his bed time is in 2 hours, I’m looking forward to nursing and putting him to sleep next to me. I enjoy the cuddles, listening to his breathing, watching him sleep. I enjoy not having to run after him, or get frustrated that I need to prep more food or clean up, or yell that he got the tv control and changing the settings or got a hold of my phone and throwing it on the floor. I am just grateful that after a busy day at work then some more work at home, I’m able to lie down by my little one and just spend some quiet time with him.

Sleeping next to him is also convenient for me. I ll tell you why! I’m still breastfeeding and he nurses every 2-3 hours. Waking up at night then going to his room, nursing him then putting him to sleep then coming back 2-3 times every night gets cumbersome. I truly prefer just feeding him when I’m half sleeping for 5 minutes then going back to sleep 2-3 times a night every night.

Since I’m torn between my gut which says keep him in your bed vs. family and psychologists who say little one need to sleep in his own room, we brought his crib in our room. Once he falls asleep, I put him in his crib, then take him to our bed once he is up.

There are no real absolutes. To all the parents out there, you know the struggle. As I said before there is the ideal and then there is the reality. Every day is the perfect imperfection because nothing goes as planned, you are on survival mode and all you can do is to give your best and learn from your mistakes. In my case, I’m learning and sharing with you guys! Let me know what you think or if you have any advice!

Thank you for taking your time to read about my story.

Posted in Super Momma

It’s ok to get frustrated

It’s hard to balance between work life, social life, mommy life, me time, endless house work and rest time.. it’s hard to find an ideal balance and so easy to get frustrated and miss the beauty of the current moment.

There are many times that I felt like I was not being productive because I could not complete my to do list, sometimes I can’t get anything done honestly, or plans did not go as I planned it. I learned it the hard way but life happens when things are not planned. Learning my lesson, I decided to look at the full half of the class so made a list of things that make me happy:

I feel happy when..

I hear my little one giggle

When my husband hugs me

When I come home and my mom is over with a set dinner table

When I learn something new

When I have an intellectual conversation

When I re connect with a friend whom I haven’t seen or talked to in years

When I have a deep connection with someone new

When I eat

When I accomplish my goals

When we spend quality family time

When my husband says that I’m beautiful

When I feel cared for

When I’m recognized

When I grab a beer at a bar and eat some junk finger food

When I complete my blog

When I do something good for the environment

When I spend time in the wild; swimming hiking just talking walks even

When I pet Sammy (my 10 year old pain in the butt cat)

When I can grow my own produce in the backyard- I’m proud of gardening

What are somethings that make you happy? Don’t think too hard, just write down couple that first pops up in your head

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Super Momma

4 common injuries of a new momma

Thumb sprain

Repetitively picking your little one up can sprain your thumbs. What’s a sprain? Sprains occur when we overstretch our ligaments, since ligaments are noncontactile tissue, they don’t have extensibility. If you put excessive stress on them, some of the fibers will start tearing. That’s what we call a sprain. Once you sustain a sprain, your brain recognizes the injury and tells the surrounding muscles to tighten up in order to protect the area to prevent a secondary injury. Some massage and stretching, and changing the way you pick your baby up will what will resolve/alleviate your symptoms.

Shoulder pain

Especially if you are Co-sleeping, hugging your little one, you are putting excessive stress on your shoulders by staying in stiff positions and feeding into bad postures. Lifting and carrying put a lot of stress on our shoulders as well. As the day goes on, due to fatigue, and stress of multi tasking, instead of actively using our muscles, we start depending on our static stability more. Now what is static stability? There are two types of stability in our body. Static stability is provided by static structures such as bones and ligaments. Dynamic stability is provided by moving structures such as muscles. Once muscles fatigue, we start putting more stress on our static structures. Female Determination in getting work done motivates our body to focus on the end result not on how much we are hurting ourselves.

Neck and back pain

When it comes to comes to neck and back problem, they always come hand in hand. Our spine is formed of 32 bones which are all interconnected with many ligaments and muscles. If you have neck pain, it will trickle down to your back and vice versa. Overstretching of the abdominal wall during pregnancy, puts a new mom at a high risk for back problems such as sciatica, blushing disc or adjust simply back stiffness and pain. Especially for breast feeding mom, one of the culprits of breastfeeding is the slouched posture the whole action puts us in. The result: neck and back pain. Once we start losing lordosis in our neck and back, our pain receptors start going off, simply saying “I’m beyond my extensibility and I will break if you keep pushing me in that direction” what’s the solution? Keep good posture. If you can, prefer supported sitting to unsupported siting. Benefit from a lumbar roll while in supported siting. Once you are done with breastfeeding, or at the end of the day, do couple stretches and exercises to restore good posture.

Posted in Super Momma

4 common injuries for a new mom

The physical burden of pregnancy, unfortunately follows high risk for more injuries for a new mom. Weakened musculoskeletal system, lack of rest and sometimes even nutrition, focusing on your new born and trying to cater to baby’s needs and depriving self from much needed recovery time are some contributing factors. Let’s look at 4 common injuries for a new mom:

Thumb sprain/ pain

Repetitively picking your little one up, can sprain your thumbs. What’s a sprain? Sprains occur when we over stretch our ligaments, since ligaments are non-contractile therefore, fiber will start tearing under excessive stress. That’s what we call a sprain. Once you sustain a sprain, your brain recognizes the injury and tells the surrounding muscles to tighten up in order to protect the area from a secondary injury. Some local massage followed by stretching, and changing the way you pick your baby up will aid in resolving your symptoms.

Shoulder and neck pain

Especially if you are Co-sleeping, hugging your little one, you are putting excessive stress on your shoulders by staying in stiff positions and feeding into bad sleeping postures. Not to mention how much stress, repetitive lifting and carrying your baby puts on your shoulders. As the day goes on, due to fatigue, and stress of multi tasking, starts being more challenging and instead of actively using our muscles, we start depending on our static stability more. Now, what is static stability? There are two types of stability in our body. Static stability is provided by static structures such as bones and ligaments. Dynamic stability is provided by moving structures such as muscles. Once muscles fatigue, we shift our dependence onto static structures. Determination in getting work done motivates our body to focus on the end result not on how we are hurting ourselves. All my super mommas know what I am talking about!

When it comes to comes to neck and back problems, they always come hand in hand. Our spine is formed of 33 bones which are all interconnected with many ligaments and muscles. If you have neck pain, it will trickle down to your back and vice versa. An over-stretched and weakened core during pregnancy, puts a new mom at a high risk to experience some sort of a back problem such as sciatica, bulging disc or simply stiffness and pain. Especially for breast feeding mom, one of the hardships of breastfeeding is the slouched posture we are put in. The result: neck and back pain. Once we start losing our natural curvatures setting off our pain receptors screaming, “I’m beyond my extensibility and I will break if you keep pushing me in that direction.” what’s the solution? Keep good posture. If you can, prefer supported sitting to unsupported siting. Benefit from a lumbar roll while in supported siting. Once you are done with breastfeeding, or at the end of the day, do couple of stretches and exercises to restore good posture.

Posted in pregnancy, Super Momma

Unwanted baby shower items?

When I walked into buybuybaby to register for my baby registry, sales associate told me moms tend to register for anywhere between 120-140 items. She handed me the scanner and I started exploring the store. Thanks to one of my closest friends, we were able to pick and choose wisely. I ended up with 48 items on my baby registry. I was trying to keep it to a minimum because I don’t like clutter around the house and my goal was to get the items that I was going to use longer than just a couple of months. I thought I was being a very good planner.

IMG_6841But once it came to my baby shower besides getting some of my registered items, I also got many more items that I didn’t register for, want or need. For example, we received 62 bibs, 27 of 0-3 months outfits, 12 bottles of shampoo and baby lotions, 32 toys, 17 blankets and plastic feeding bottles. Talking about not wanting clutter around the house, and being a good planner huh?! I had way too many of everything. Do not get me wrong, I was very lucky to get all the loving and gifts but I did not understand why people did not buy the register items but decided to get creative and get other stuff. I didn’t have any gift receipt or nor I had an idea which store they came from so I was left with bags of unwanted/needed baby items.

I still needed some register items and decided to find a way of get rid of extra items and use that money to purchase what I needed. I went online. My good reliable friend GOOGLE!  Searched for the brands online to see which stores carry what brands and figured both Walmart and Target take the items back if they have it in their stores as long not opened/ damaged of course. That was a really good start! I was able have to return the shampoos- I preferred all organic and they were not-,some bibs, blankets and toys to Walmart and Target and got store credit. Then I head to T.J. Maxx followed by Marshalls. It was a bit of http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sites/womenshealthmag.com/files/images/birth-expense_0.jpgwork both for you and the sales associates but as long as they can match the brand with similar items in the store, they will also give give you a store credit. At the end of the day, I did not get cash back but I got almost $300 store credit. I did some shopping for the house, then I was able to purchase more baby items that I needed. That way I was able to return the items that I wasn’t going to use and I was able to purchase what was left on my baby registry and I completed my shopping. I still had some extra items but I made great progress with completing baby’s room!

Walmart, Target, TJ Maxx and Marshalls- I thank you very much for your cooperation and care! You all made a new mom very happy!

 

Posted in pregnancy, Super Momma

Hemorrhoids: not a girly topic to talk about, Ha?

Unfortunately, hemorrhoids are very common to have during pregnancy due to increase intra-abdominal pressure. They are also likely to happen during labor, as you bear down to push the baby out, you can imagine that you’re very likely to get hemorrhoids. They are the most common reason of rectal bleeding.  Once they swell, they bulge even more and they can start bleeding especially after going for number 2.

I did not have hemorrhoids when I was pregnant but was blessed with them after labor 😦 After giving water birth, I felt very sore on my bottom that somewhat improved in about 2 weeks. As my soreness improved, hemorrhoids still caused pain, difficulty going for number 2, and decreased my sitting tolerance on the bed nursing my little one.

Being discharged home, I was given two packs of witch hazel pads and Dermaplast pain relieving spray. After using the bathroom, all you have to do is to dab the pad on your behind then discard it. Witch hazel pads helped with recovery by decreasing itching and swelling as they alleviated the pain.

I was also instructed to do potty baths in warm water to clean out my bottom. Since you cannot wipe yourself due to increased tenderness in the area, sitting in a potty in warm water will help you relax and allow any discharge to come out.

Using potty bath and witch hazel pads definitely helped with hemorrhoids but they returned after a month. Ouch! I realized that the diet is also very important because your stool needs to be loose so once it’s coming out, it’s not irritating the area even more. After your hospital stay, you are prescribed laxatives which is great until you run out. Eating fiber rich food and drinking lots of water is the key.

Even though hemorrhoids are not a girl’s best friend, there are ways to get rid of them. Be consistent and have patience. They sure do not go away as quickly as they appear, but sooner or later they will be gone.

 

Images retrieved from:

http://www.onhealth.com/content/1/hemorrhoid_treatment

Posted in Super Momma

Want to increase milk production?

The first 48 hours after labor, you produce colostrum.  Colostrum is the first stage of breast milk that is more yellowish in color and thicker in consistency filled with a lot of good nutrients for your baby. Colostrum is not much in quantity so do not freak out about not producing enough. Most likely, the nurse will help you to hand express it so you can cumulate the colostrum on a spoon then feed it to your baby. After 48 hours you start producing more milk, the look of what you produce changes from yellow to white with a more viscous consistency. Do not let people freak you out that you do not have enough milk for your baby! It takes time.

colostrum-handmilk-foremilkMilk production is a supply demand mechanism meaning, more often your breasts are emptied either by nursing or pumping, more milk your body will produce. Meeting that demand takes time since your body will not go from producing an ounce to 3 ounces over night so be patient.

My son had difficulty with latching on due to he had tongue tie and I almost lost all my milk production. Hand expression was not enough to stimulate my milk production and I almost lost all my milk in a weeks times frame. I also did not have the pump yet so my breasts were not stimulated to produce more.Once he had the revision done, he wanted to feed more but I did not have enough milk. We had to supplement until I was able to meet his demand. To boost up my production, I had to visit whole foods store to get some supplements, and I did a lot of praying. If you feel like you’re not producing enough and going through similar struggles, here is what I used:

1- Ensure you’re drinking plenty of water. When I say plenty, I mean half of your body weight in ounces is your bare minimum. Soups and herbal teas count towards your daily water intake since they do not dehydrate your body. Unfortunately, juices are not very good for you since you do not want to overload your system with sugar. Remember to limit your caffeine intake as well.

140654522- Mothers milk tea has lot of good ingredients. Drink 3 to 5 cups a day as the instructions say. Many stores such as whole foods, target or walmart has it or you can order it online. You can also get the ingredients of mothers milk tea separately which I found to be more helpful for me.

fenugreek-owh180-13- I got FenuGreek which is one of the ingredients in Mother’s milk tea. You can find it in wholefoods store or order online. Mine came as capsules and I took three capsules a day with meals. Fenugreek really helped me boost my milk supply.

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loose fennel

4- The best of all is loose fennel. You can just brew it at home, and one cup in the morning and one cup in the afternoon helped a ton. Fennel apparently helps with a lot more stuff so I may continue with fennel tea even after I stop breastfeeding.

5- Another remedy that I used is Milk thistle. I also got this from whole foods and probably you can find it online for a better price. It’s a drop so you drop for drops in a cup and drink it. I honestly did not feel like it helped much and for some reason on the bottle it says beware if you are breastfeeding?!!

fennel

 

Images obtained from:

https://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/fenugreek-OWH180.html?afd_number=27141&gclid=CjwKEAiArIDFBRCe_9DJi6Or0UcSJAAK1nFvVIv-TzXrleXeMRCbZNs-PCmi7GDMJg4H42Du1ujdrhoC1CHw_wcB

http://www.target.com/p/traditional-medicinals-organic-mother-s-milk-herbal-tea-16-ct/-/A-14065452?sid=1263S&ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Grocery%2BEssentials%2BShopping_Local&adgroup=SC_Grocery&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9003522&fndsrc=tgtao&gclid=CjwKEAiArIDFBRCe_9DJi6Or0UcSJAAK1nFvZh8PIXxVj0_yV1U8njj44NanHsBDNsga0Typu_qv_xoCimHw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/herbs-and-spices/health-benefits-of-fennel.html

Posted in Super Momma, Sweet child o' mine

Benefits of tummy time

 

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Afraid of tummy time? I was!

Are you afraid to put your little one on his tummy? I was! Once my mom told me to put my son on his belly I was afraid that he would suffocate. I knew babies needed to spend some time on their tummies but I was afraid and I didn’t know how and where to start.

There are many reasons why tummy time is very important for babies. First of all, it is important to achieve, complete and advance his movement skills set. There is a sequence in a baby’s development where he has to achieve pushing on his elbows before crawling, or standing before walking. In order to advance to the next skills set, he has to achieve the previous one. For example, in order for the baby to crawl has to be able to push to move his arms support his weight, master how to wight shift from one arm/leg to the other arm/leg in order to move. Unless he spend adequate time on his belly, he’s not gonna be able to master those skills. after spending some belly time, my son started gaining more head control; he was able to lift his head up, prop himself on his elbows and also turn his head to find a more comfortable sleeping position.

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Supervised tummy time

Another importance of tummy time is developmental. Babies are born without any spinal curvature. You can appreciate that adults have curvatures. Our neck and lower back are lordotic while our mid back is kyphotic. In order for the babies to develop proper spinal alignment and posture, they need to move against gravity. Since the gravity is always pulling down towards the floor, against gravity would be moving one’s body towards the ceiling. Tummy time allows for the baby to lift his head, push into his hands/elbows to lift his chest that will develop that neck and low back curvature.

Once my son was three weeks old, he started getting a lot of gas. Not are if it was a growth spurt or my food choices. Gripe water and Windy helped but it was becoming a routine that he almost appeared to be colicy. Moms know it all right?! So when I talked to my mom, she suggested supervised tummy time. First time I put him on his stomach, I checked on him periodically. I was nervous. After an hour, I realize that he started passing gas like there’s no tomorrow. I let him sleep on his stomach during daytime and he became less and less fussy. In about two weeks he was able to lift and turn his head, and I started getting more confident and less worried about letting him sleep on his stomach. Tummy time assisted with passing gas as well.

f430ac8e-8e9b-417d-ac79-be1e882e4e09My pediatrician encouraged tummy time then to put him on his back to sleep because the medical world is afraid of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). If you do a little research about SIDS, they don’t know what really causes it. Was I worried about it? Absolutely yes! So what did I do? I made sure I eliminated all the factors that may have led to SIDS. I laid him only on a firm surface (his mattress is firm). I made sure to take off his hat and bib to eliminate the possibility of airway blockage. Also I removed all the toys/stuffed animals so he wouldn’t be able to get to them. I also periodically checked on him.

Let me know what you think! As mothers we know our children the best because we have this gut feel/ instinct that tells right apart from wrong. I chose to put him on his stomach to sleep because of previously stated reasons. My purpose in sharing my experience is not to convince any one to put their infants on their stomachs. Just like my other blog posts, I would like to share my experience and hear about yours.

Please comment below and let me know what you think!

Until my next blog. Stay awesome mama!