Treat being a stay home mom as a full-time job
Going from working full-time to staying home full time is a big transition for all moms. Some of us look forward to it and some of us do it because we have to. Once I hit 39th week, I was excited for my maternity leave because I was physically exhausted. I thought to myself how bad can can staying be? I don’t have a location or time commitment, I am on my own time schedule so I can go to bed whenever I want and sleep until noon! yayy! 3 days later I figured that was not the case.
I stayed home for three months for my maternity leave it was a big emotional/psychological transition because I was used to being surrounded by people, being busy with different tasks and multitasking for the majority of the time (planning non-stop- you know what I am talking about!) Being home with my son was amazing but doing the same chores over and over again, started getting very repetitive and frustrating. I would clean the dishes, and after 10 minutes, there were new dishes in the sink. I would change the baby, half an hour later, he would poop again. I would tidy the house, it would not last half a day and would get messy. In a 24 hour timeframe, I found myself attending same chores with an increasing levels of anxiety and decreasing sense of accomplishment due to lack of visual progress.
Today the researchers estimate that the salary of a stay home mom is about $140,000 because it is a lot of work. Being rewarded by money or a desirable something is positive enforcement. In the work force, we put time and energy in, and get a pay check, build our career and sometimes our success is recognized by our colleagues in exchange. We put time and effort in to doing something and we get something in the end. But once you’re in a stay home mom, you do the same chores over and over again, and in the and you are still stuck with the same exact chores the very next day. So this lack of progress is what made it so frustrating for me.
For instance, whenever my son napped for an hour, I would try to tackle as many chores as I could. That included hell of a multi- tasking: going to basement first to put the laundry in, then putting away all pumping equipment then washing baby dishes then washing our dishes, then tidying home then having breakfast if I had time left. In the end, I was restless, couldn’t take care of myself, I was angry and tired. I knew I had to change this asap. I always say that the perspective is everything in life. So I decided to treat staying home as a full-time job. When you go back to work you have hours, right? Some of us we work 9-to-5, some work 10 to 6, whatever it is but you have limited commitment. Therefore, I decided that I would attend house chores just during certain hours of the day. I strictly said no overtime, loll! If they was still work left, I would do it the next day. I decided to use the reminder of the time to take care of myself.
How did that help? I had to self-assure that it was OK to leave some work for the next day. It took some discipline and deep breathing not washing the dishes that were piling in the sink. I realized taking care of myself emotionally made me feel better. Putting a little make up on or getting our nails done are important for us since it changes our demeanor and makes us feel better about ourselves. Changing my perspective on running house errands, changed my attitude and gave me a more positive outlook, and I tackle my frustration in a more efficient way. I even picked less on my husband too, lol!
I would like to hear about your perspective. How do you feel about being a stay-at-home mom? And how do you tackle the daily frustration? Please comment and let me know!