Our little one is 14 months old and he is still sleeping with us. Hearing this certainly shocks some people and I’m told “it’s not good because the kid needs to be able to sleep by himself, not be too dependent on you, it’s necessary for his character to develop. Also, don’t you want to be able to go out sometime?”
I smile and say “there is the ideal and the reality. Would I want to go out at night? Maybe once in a blue moon but I am not into clubbing anyways.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not 100% content with the fact that my son is still sleeping with us at 14 months. Why? Because I need to go to sleep with him, a least I need to put him to sleep then try to pull some ninja moves and quickly sneak out of the room as I get ray he will not wake up to the sound of smallest creak. I can’t watch any thing then doze off lying in bed, I used to enjoy watching my shows in bed – that’s no longer happening. He does not go to sleep with anyone else including his dad, my mom or mother in law and he gives people the hardest time when they are trying to put him to sleep.
When it comes to his personality development, is he more attached to me? Am I making him “mommy’s boy”? I do not know for sure but I don’t think so. I can say that he is not clingy and he plays with all family members and even strangers. He does not act like mommy’s boy either, he follows anyone who has something interesting to offer to him.
Nowadays, big trend is going back to all natural and staying away from artificial or nonorganic. Then on that note, isn’t it more motherly and more natural to stay with your young ones instead of taking them to their rooms early on? Look at the animal kingdom, I believe besides some species (mostly the ones in the sea), most animals especially mammals, are always with their little ones. They cuddle and sleep together and when the babies are old enough, they leave the parents to draw their own fate.
One big advantage of co-sleeping is I miss him when I am away from him. Don’t get me wrong I think every mom needs to be away from the kids for some time In order to regain sanity. When I get home after a day at work, and his bed time is in 2 hours, I’m looking forward to nursing and putting him to sleep next to me. I enjoy the cuddles, listening to his breathing, watching him sleep. I enjoy not having to run after him, or get frustrated that I need to prep more food or clean up, or yell that he got the tv control and changing the settings or got a hold of my phone and throwing it on the floor. I am just grateful that after a busy day at work then some more work at home, I’m able to lie down by my little one and just spend some quiet time with him.
Sleeping next to him is also convenient for me. I ll tell you why! I’m still breastfeeding and he nurses every 2-3 hours. Waking up at night then going to his room, nursing him then putting him to sleep then coming back 2-3 times every night gets cumbersome. I truly prefer just feeding him when I’m half sleeping for 5 minutes then going back to sleep 2-3 times a night every night.
Since I’m torn between my gut which says keep him in your bed vs. family and psychologists who say little one need to sleep in his own room, we brought his crib in our room. Once he falls asleep, I put him in his crib, then take him to our bed once he is up.
There are no real absolutes. To all the parents out there, you know the struggle. As I said before there is the ideal and then there is the reality. Every day is the perfect imperfection because nothing goes as planned, you are on survival mode and all you can do is to give your best and learn from your mistakes. In my case, I’m learning and sharing with you guys! Let me know what you think or if you have any advice!
Thank you for taking your time to read about my story.